What Makes a HAPPY Marriage

29 Years ago we were peers in Kindergarten, playmates perhaps.  20 years ago we met in Civitas our freshman year in high school.  There he was, this cute boy sitting on the bleachers below me {class was in the theater room}.  All he had to do was look at me +  smile and he'd make me blush.  His smile was killer!  He wasn't the typical boy that our school was full of - he was kind, full of humor, used a suitcase for a backpack {a trend setter for our school}, an athlete, a musician + he wasn't too bad on the eyes either.  It wasn't long before our friendship started.  We remained friends for those four years ... nothing more, well maybe there was one special kiss.  Our paths didn't cross for another 3 years and again it still wasn't our time yet.  Finally, 2 years ago my love found me and we've been inseparable ever since.  I am so grateful every day that he found me ... 

So Grateful ... So Blessed ... So Fortunate   
      

"A long-lasting marriage is built by two people who believe in - and live by - the solemn promise they made." - Darlene Schacht 

People can be incredibly judgmental and negative about marriage ...  I see so much about how hard it is + how it takes so much to make it work and on and on.  I find this so disheartening.  Life is too short and I want to live and breathe happiness.  I want to positively change the tone about marriage.  Just like there is no one way to load the dishwasher, fold clothes or prepare a plate of food, there is no one way to have a perfect, happy marriage.  My marriage is perfect for me, but it is nothing like anyone else's.     

What does HAPPINESS + LOVE mean to you?

My husband means so much to me.  He's my number one fan + loves and adores me so much.  We say and text "I LOVE YOU" at least 200 times each day ... this is very important to us.  It doesn't get old, we love to say it, and we mean it.   

"The highest happiness on earth is the happiness of marriage." - William Lyon Phelps

Living a Successful HAPPY Marriage ...

Loving each other no matter what ... this means not always getting your way, letting go of your pride and ego + not always being right.   

Enjoying your wrinkles + grey hairs, appreciating every part of you, making love a lot and being fully present, having special inside jokes, saying "I love you" every day, getting to cuddle + sleep next to your best friend.

Always being there for each other, even through the bumps ...  because there will be bumps along the way, but if you have a strong foundation, you can get through them with grace. 

Having a strong partnership and commitment to each other + making this sacred.  

Having fun ... being playful, cooking together and appreciating the company.  

Patience and lots of it.  Being mindful of your mood and behavior + using kind, constructive communication.  

Making decisions together and showing appreciation.  

Marriage will thrive and flourish when you live and breathe your love and happiness for each other. 

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin

This is where we got married, I love the cows in the background.

Why my marriage works for me ...

My husband and I are so deeply in love and in tune with each other.  We love being married + calling each other husband and wife.  Marriage is incredibly sacred to us and we put in the time to make it work.  We are best friends for life and have a mutual respect for each other.  If something is important to him, then it's important to me.  He loves that I put my ice cold feet on him at night and he takes pride in helping me warm up.  We talk about everything and work to not suppress our feelings + let each other know when something is wrong.  My husband is the strongest man I know and I love that about him ... yet we both allow ourselves to be vulnerable and this is a huge strength.  We do our best to listen with love and stay in the present moment ... sometimes this is hard, but if you stick to the original emotion, it's so much easier to get to the root issue.  I do my best to be a complaint free wife, this means nagging too ... it's much nicer to be grateful and just say "I love you" when those moments pop up.  Sometimes this means I have to check myself and take a deep breath and remember how much I love this man.  Kindness is so much better!  Saying a simple "How are you?" instead of complaining or nagging about something makes marriage so much lighter and happier.  We make mistakes!  Who doesn't?  We hurt feelings, usually unintentionally, but we apologize, own up to it and and move on.  

"... she's got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps." - Rocky Balboa, Rocky {The Movie} 

We can get through stuck places, old patterns + fears because of our deep love and connection.  Our absolute deepest wounds do get triggered because we're deeply in love.  These things will surface when your love is true + real.  We allow ourselves to be vulnerable, go deep, be fully open + be loved ... love is so crucial when you are exposed.  We hold importance around honesty + truth.  We tell the truth even if it hurts or it's not something we want to hear, trust can only be built upon with full honesty.  We also take responsibility for our own healing and learning ... this allows us to grow together, heal + build our strengths.  This is not some safe, stagnant, roommate relationship ... we are on fire!  We have a vital love connection + make love a lot because it's important to us and our marriage.  We thrive because our connection is electric.  Our marriage is sacred, loving, wonderful, lively + filled with funny inside jokes.   

"Keep the fire lit in your marriage and your life will be filled with warmth." - Fawn Weaver     

His smile melted my heart 20 years ago and it still does all these years later. 

Happy Anniversary to the man my heart loves so deeply!

"I'm So Fortunate"

Home Is Wherever I Am With You